The other night, as I stared at the dry, cracked, end-of-day, residual make-up clinging sadly to my skin, I thought to myself, "I wish I were the kind of person who took her makeup off (and applied a good, nighttime moisturizer) at the end of every day." It led to a whole string of "I wish I were the type of person who..." thoughts. Like, I wish I were the type of person who:
- Took the dog for brisk, mind-clearing walks on a regular basis
- Was a decent housekeeper (Not even great, my aspirations aren't that high - just tidy enough so that our house doesn't look as though it's just been burglarized on a regular basis)
- Flossed daily
- Never yelled or snapped at my children, but always remained calm and spoke to them in a low, authoritative voice, which they responded to and respected
- Ate healthier (and, let's face it, had the figure to prove it)
This list could go on and on and on and on. From what I read on other blogs and in other parenting news, it sounds like most women have the same kind of ongoing commentary in their heads as well.
Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we think we need to be Martha Stewart (both the home-maker Martha, and the CEO-Martha)? But not just Martha, we should also be a little Heidi Klum while we're at it - great figure, wonderful sense of fashion, loving (and, let's just say it, sexy) wife - with an overwhelming dollop of June Cleaver, Mother-of-the-Year on top?
Why don't our thoughts go more along the lines of, "I'm so glad I'm the type of person who":
- Loves her children and does her best to keep them safe, healthy and happy
- Cares about her friends and wants the best for them
- Enjoys any sort of party or celebration
- Wishes all of her Facebook friends a happy birthday
- Is good about sending thank-you notes
Why do we focus so much on our short-comings and so little on all of the things we actually do well? I'd like to think that this would be my New Year's Resolution for 2012. But, I know it won't. I'll go right back up to the first list and try to keep improving on the old model-me.